Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Inescapable difficult situations

A large problem I face regularly with being autistic is that people can tell when I'm not happy with something I've been asked to do. Currently I'm faced with a challenge about how to cope with the way my university has decided to do 'revision sessions' for my Masters course - I don't like doing group work and I certainly don't like to do 'talk and share'. I don't want to be here, I am not coping well with this situation and am finding it really hard just to keep myself in the room when all I want to do is bolt and hide.
I hate the way people feel the need to force others into their way of learning / revising / coping. I have my way, it works well for me, doesn't always give the best results in terms of academic achievements but it allows me to survive the process.
Coping with stressful environments is always difficult when you have anxiety issues but when it's an environment that you're trapped in, and particularly if you're in the spotlight, it's so hard to know how to cope. My standard coping method is to blend in, to survive, to stay in control. In an inescapable spotlight environment however blending in is a bit harder and thus surviving can become a real challenge. Hopefully I'll be okay with this soon, it's a classic example of me not knowing in advance what would be expected of me and so not coping with a scenario well.

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