Originally posted March 29th 2021
https://x.com/HJ_Ellis/status/1376525614467981317
This #WorldAutismAwarenessWeek I'm going to be sharing some of the things that bring me #AutisticJoy - please join in and share yours if you want! 
So kicking off the week with RUGBY UNION!
Yes I'm starting with my current and most intense source of #AutisticJoy (even if things have been a bit wobbly the past year or so!)
I fell properly in love with rugby union in 2016 having been a casual watcher for about 2 decades
Yes I'm starting with my current and most intense source of #AutisticJoy (even if things have been a bit wobbly the past year or so!)
I fell properly in love with rugby union in 2016 having been a casual watcher for about 2 decades
Rugby Union is something that admittedly has brought me a lot of heartache over recently times (yes England and Saracens, I'm looking at you!) but you have to take the bad with the good and I think I've become a stronger person from weathering the storms of the past 18 months.
And even on those darkest days when I wanted to walk away from the sport my bruised heart wouldn't let me, so intense is my special interest, so embedded is the joy it can bring me. Its no longer a simple interest or hobby, its more like a beloved family member now!
My whole family now pay attention to club results and international fixtures to be able to talk to me about them and even work colleagues have started to actively engage me on the subject if they know I'm feeling down or stressed!
But why has rugby union captured this place in my heart as my key source of #AutisticJoy? Probably because it is both routine and unpredictable! It has rules, traditions and a measure of reliability, and yet it is live sport, a team sport, full of rivalries and byplays!
To not know exactly what is going to happen next, with no guarantee of happy endings, does seem counter productive to bringing #AutisticJoy to an anxious mind, but it gives me a sense of peace to see that even players who are at the top of their game make mistakes sometimes!
Even the toughest matches, the heartbreaking losses are not enough to tip the scales away from the sheer amount of #AutisticJoy that the sport brings me most of the time. My joy for a match day is immense and can start from the day the fixture is announced and I buy my ticket!
Planning which fixtures to go to, who to go with, how to get there, and (if its an away game) if I'm going to stay overnight are all hugely exciting parts of the process to my routine and list loving brain and add to the #AutisticJoy of the day weeks in advance!
I've been able to do so many things I've always wanted to thanks to tying them to a rugby trip - from experiencing the Caledonian Sleeper train on the way home from a Glasgow match to seeing the magnificent Côte d'Azur from the train heading to Toulon from Nice Airport 
Rugby is more than just a sport to me, its a community that I feel such affection for. Especially this past 12 months with everything that's going on, I feel so lucky to have been able to attend a single match back in December, it gave me such a boost of #AutisticJoy
It made me wistful for the season that could have been visiting new locations with and adding them to my "autistic friendliness rating" spreadsheet that I developed after my 30th birthday which saw me challenged to attend 30 Sarries games in one season!
It was one hell of a challenge for an autistic fan to undertake but I loved almost every moment of it! I ended the year having done 28 matches and using the 2 matches I also went to as the final 2 to get me to 30 (as so many Sarries played in those games!)
I've always been really open about being autistic when at rugby and generally people have been really supportive and lovely about making sure I'm coping okay with things! even filmed me talking about being an autistic fan at one point and caught me stimming on tape!
I've also been to both and representing and spoken at length to players, staff and other fans about being autistic and the #AutisticJoy that rugby brings me, as well as being interviewed by work about it:
autism.org.uk/advice-and-gui
I remember explaining to a fellow Sarries fan I was sat next to in Newcastle why I had reacted so badly to him grabbing my arm in excitement, once he understood he was so supportive and caring the rest of the match, especially through the really anxious nail-biting moments!
I find I don't have to mask as much as normal while a game is happening because then (especially if its a final) its almost expected to see people being emotional and even a bit overwhelmed! Photos of me post-win are always funny to me as I'm so relieved & smiley! #AutisticJoy
And yes, when it goes wrong its horrible and the sheer amount of masking I have to do until I can get somewhere safe is exhausting but this thread is about joy not pain so I'm not going there today!
But part of where the #AutisticJoy for me comes from is feeling that I've achieved something with every match I go to, even if its not a new ground or a scary knockout match, there will still have been something to challenge me that I pushed aside to stay and enjoy the match
And the love I have for Rugby Union isn't limited to being at a live match, just seeing images of Twickenham or clips from can be enough to raise my spirits on a difficult day or pull me back from an autistic meltdown at the right moment #AutisticJoy
But my greatest #AutisticJoy has come from the very best of days at matches! Often involving friends or family being with me to share the enjoyment with these are memories I treasure and let my brain relive in tough times as a way of reminding myself that bad times will pass
I've made some amazing friends like via rugby and got to introduce some of my friends to a brilliant sport! I've even gotten to occasionally rub shoulders with a celebrity in thanks to Sarries! 
Rugby is such a welcoming sport; yes the rules are a bit hard to follow but the grounds are full of friendly & helpful staff, the players are bloody awesome and so lovely to fans, and the clubs have such a heart to them. I love them all, thats why rugby union is my #AutisticJoy
I had finished but then realised I hadn't mentioned those who work so hard to bring that wonderful #AutisticJoy into my house when I can't make a match - so thank you to all the folks in the match day teams at , , and 
And of course to the wonderful, under-appreciated officials who try their hardest to keep the games within the rules, and those who explain them for me afterwards- you guys are a huge part of why I enjoy the sport so much and why it brings me #AutisticJoy not anxiety & confusion!
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